In this our most recent episode of the Happy Healthy Human Podcast, Eric sits down with Corey Martin Craig, a Nebraska-born comedy coach and producer based in Los Angeles. As the founder of Cool Beans Comedy at the historic Ice House in Pasadena, Corey’s mission goes far beyond laughter — he uses comedy as a tool for empowerment, communication, and connection.
Corey’s story is one of transformation. Diagnosed as a child with ADHD, OCD, and Tourette’s, he faced constant disruption, isolation, and loss after his father’s passing. Comedy became a mask for pain — a way to be seen without revealing his struggles. But over time, it evolved into a means of healing.
“Pain knows pain,” Corey says. “If I can help someone feel seen or make their day a little brighter, I feel like I’m paying it forward — and reprogramming my own story.”
Healing Through Humor
Corey’s work with Cool Beans Comedy brings together people from all walks of life — kids, adults, businesses — to use humor as a bridge for communication. Drawing from research at UCLA, he teaches that 93% of communication is non-verbal — it’s not just what you say, but how you show up. His approach helps people build confidence, empathy, and presence in every interaction.
Facing the Past to Build the Future
Through therapy, journaling, and EMDR, Corey has faced his childhood trauma head-on. His healing journey has taught him that mental health is a daily practice, just like physical training. “If you want your mind to grow stronger, you have to put in the reps every day,” he says.
The Power of Boundaries and Rest
The conversation dives deep into relationships and the importance of setting healthy boundaries. Whether it’s taking space from a snoring friend or learning to say no when depleted, Corey reminds us that boundaries protect connection — they don’t destroy it. He also emphasizes the importance of rest, phone-free evenings, and quality sleep to maintain emotional stability.
Connection Starts With You
Corey challenges listeners to take ownership of their healing and connection:
“Nobody’s coming to save you. If you want deeper connection, you have to create it — by being present, by being brave, and by showing up for yourself first.”
This episode is more than a story about comedy — it’s about courage, vulnerability, and rediscovering joy. Corey’s honesty and humor invite us all to embrace our imperfections and pursue authentic connection one conversation at a time.
Transcript
00:00:02 – 00:01:26
What up, Triple H podcast? Uh, today we have an awesome guest. His name is Corey Craig. Uh, he runs Cool Beans Comedy out of LA. Um, what I No, what I love about him is he’s so authentic. He’s cool. He’s an awesome guy. Super handsome. Um, and and we really get down to the meat of things and just talk about story, personality, finding yourself, accepting who you are. Triple AAA podcast. Um, how’s my chin? Hey, man. What up, bro? What’s up, dude? Just two bros hanging. Just Yeah. This is This is the podcast,
00:00:55 – 00:01:54
right? Called two bros just hanging. This is two two two uh two bros one pod. Mhm. Yeah. I’m down. Um dude, welcome and uh thanks for being here. Thanks for having me, man. Dude, let’s just start off like I know we’ve talked a little bit already, but people don’t know that. Who who who are you, man? And I know I know you’re in Nebraska, but who tell me more and tell or tell Yeah. Who are you, man? Who am I? I’m Cory Martin Craig. I grew up in Nebraska, so there’s my there’s my
00:01:24 – 00:02:27
nickname. Just straight Nebraska. Just categorize me as that. Uh, it’s fine. Um, you represent the whole state. Yeah. All of it. All of it. Go Huskers. Go Huskers. Uh, I am a comedy coach and producer. I run Cool Beans Comedy out of the Ice House in Pasadena, which is the oldest comedy club in America. I work with kids. I work with adults. Um, and we kind of use comedy as a byproduct with empowerment being in the forefront of just helping people communicate more. Um, yeah, I do a lot I do a lot with uh
00:01:56 – 00:02:57
just communication and trying to bring the best out of people through their own minds and and how they connect with verbal and non-verbal communication. Yeah. And we met was it through was it through Peter or Scott or it was through Scott? Scott, one of your um members here took Cool Beans Comedy who was hilarious. I think he took class twice. One of his jokes was CrossFit and just uh he’s like, “Why why do I need to know how to do an overhead squat?” Which I agree with. Yeah. Uh that’s not good
00:02:25 – 00:03:22
for any body part. And you hit me up and said, “Hey, Scott, really recommended you.” And I came and got a work with your incredible coaches and we did some improv to kind of loosen up and work more, you know, connective with our with your clients. And I think uh I’ve been back two or three times and now you know we’re we’re connecting on a podcast level. Yeah. I know we’ve talked about this before and you know I shared a little bit with you about the our five factors of health here at at uh on the Happy
00:02:56 – 00:03:54
Healthy Human Podcast. What why do you do what you do? And I know that’s in flux right now, but why do you do what you do? Uh it’s a great question. I I believe people don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it. So that’s a great question. Okay, Simon Cynic. Okay. Yeah, I know. I know. It’s probably one of your books up here. Yeah. Um is because I have realized that it’s helping me kind of reframe who I am as a person. So when I see for me, my dad died when I was six. I acted out all the
00:03:25 – 00:04:22
time, was suspended over 30 times, like faced expulsion. 30 30 times 30 times. They diagnosed me with ADHD, OCD, and Tourette’s. Gave me a bunch of medication. That medication did not settle me down, make me feel secure. It just made me mad and overweight. And so I was the kid who was always trying to connect. And even to this day, like I still sometimes feel like I’m alone in this world. And so connective tissue and communication is crucial for me. Like even right now football’s starting up. I’m like ain’t
00:03:53 – 00:04:48
nobody ask me be a part of no football uh league. Like I want to come on anybody. Can I get right? And so we got we got an invite for you here. Appreciate it. Uh uh I think the draft already happened so maybe next year. Crickets. Can we just put the cricket sound in? No, I think for me it’s just I want to feel connected. I was an only child. Um had a lot of problems growing up, a lot of family issues. And so if I can, especially with the kids, if I can see somebody like pain knows pain. You
00:04:21 – 00:05:13
can look at somebody’s eyes and go, you’ve been through it, you’re in it. And so if I can go and like make somebody’s day or if I can help you in some capacity, I feel like I’m paying it forward and in some beautiful way, you get that uh you get to receive it as well. you get that receipt and you kind of get to reprogram your mind, right? I want to reprogram my neurotransmitters and that’s a big reason why I try to help with communication. That’s good, man. I I when I think about
00:04:47 – 00:05:49
what you do and especially initially, I my my first thought was the benefit of working with someone like you who I think most people see is just like the comedy side, right? It’s like the funnies, right? I like to call it, right? Um, as we know, there’s like a dark side to that that makes, you know, that that that’s what allows people to be able to access that from from a place of pain and so on and so on. Um, we initially picked you up because or we I reached out because I thought you’d be
00:05:17 – 00:06:20
able to work work with our staff on I call it like your natural state. like just what is being your true self and then being comfortable in being your true self whether you’re having a conversation like this or working with a client or you know uh the phrase that’s used in the fitness industry and in the health industry often is we call bedside manner right um it’s like your bed what how’s your bedside manner you can have all the skills in the world uh in terms of knowledge and and the
00:05:49 – 00:06:58
knowhow and um like an encyclopedia a chachi BT level brain. Yeah. But but if your bedside manner is not there, it’s not delivered well. And I think that’s why we reached out initially. Um what what made you so how do you use that to bring the best out of people? Yeah, I think you know one of the things that we talk about is we brought it up in here. I bring it up in the cool beans comedy classes is communication. There was a study done by Albert Morovian at UCLA about communication, verbal and
00:06:27 – 00:07:26
non-verbal communication. Verbal being the words that we use, non-verbal being body language, facial expressions, tone of our voice. Um, and you know this, but what’s more important? The non-verbal, right? So 93% of that. So I think for me, what’s so beautiful is like with standup specifically, it’s not necessarily about the words that you use, right? Like because if 93% is how I’m connecting to you, is it the confidence? Like you don’t want a comic to be on stage and be like, “So the
00:06:57 – 00:08:05
punch line was Yeah. What? You got to have some confidence.” And so I take that comedy and I use it in the business setting. Like I’ve coached so many businesses from, you know, CrossFit to just biochemical companies, right? It it it’s crazy. So it’s just being comfortable with who you are. Why? You’re asking why why did I do this? Um, yes. I think I know why you, if I understand you correctly, is for you, your story, it’s it’s ties back to your childhood story of how you grew up and
00:07:31 – 00:08:30
your why is tied to helping that version of you and you as you’re as you’re stepping into growing into who you are today. That’s that’s a big part of your why. But h how do you feel like that impacts the world? like what like like why why does that what I guess in your view why is it meaningful work not just for yourself but like how does that impact the world I mean it’s a ripple effect right like you want that connection like I always try to you know like we were just talking about I was just in Europe like
00:08:01 – 00:08:53
I love talking to anybody like you give me if you give me just even an icon I’m like how how are you who talk to me because I think it’s all too often especially in this day and age like we are focused on ourselves and yes I do think we need to get all comfortable with being with ourselves. That’s my biggest problem in life is just how do I find contentment just with me? But this connective energy, I feel like most people are the opposite. Most people just they don’t know how to connect. And
00:08:26 – 00:09:21
so I think it’s important because it helps with every everyday life. Like if you can do one scary thing like make eye contact with somebody or you know you know go talk to somebody that you find attractive be like what up and stuff or um you want to learn something from somebody like there’s no shame in being like there’s something that you do that’s beautiful I want to be I want to know something about that so go up and just ask that. So I think it’s really just comes back to fear, right? Like like if
00:08:54 – 00:09:51
in this day and age you get on the subway, you know, I was in Europe or even subway LA, New York, you know, people are so connected to just themselves. But realistically, what you have what’s so beautiful here is it’s a tribe. We are tribal people, right? Just in just who we are, right? Culturally, so you know the blue zones, everything like just you want to be around people all the time. So if you are not getting that, you got to go and get it, right? There’s nobody coming to save you. So if
00:09:23 – 00:10:18
you get that opportunity in the day to go and make connection, to go and talk to somebody, to put out good energy, I think it comes back to you too. But I think there’s something so much to be said for having some type of connection and even even knowing these things. Like for on that trip, I I’m not I’m not a bar hopper. My buddy wanted to do a bar crawl. We’re in Amsterdam and the second bar we go to the the girls were like, “You have RBF.” And I was like, “I do.” Apparently, I
00:09:50 – 00:10:45
was just not having a good time and I would just like shut down. And so they’re like, “You got you got RBF.” And I was like, “I need to change that.” Right? So it’s it’s I what I think is so important is like the the feedback you get to hear from somebody. Am I received well? Am I smiling at them? Do you like the tone of my voice? Am I just a creep? Like what is that? I think that’s important for connection. It’s good. Thanks for that. That’s good. My My brain is spinning
00:10:18 – 00:11:27
with different questions. Mhm. Were you always this way? No. Yeah. I I know. So So you described yourself as kind of like a chubby kid growing up. Yeah, kind of. No. There was multiple Send me a photo. We’ll post that. Okay. We’ll share that. Um Yeah, I remember you showed me that photo while we went for the walk. Um it’s very cute. Very handsome. Well, I don’t think any girl said that back in the day. Um, I mean, very cute. Um, but yeah, man. I I walk me through that because I I get that and
00:10:52 – 00:11:54
I think I look at my life and I know that I’m nowhere close to the person that I used to be 5 years ago and then 10 years ago, 15, so on so on, right? That’s like the natural evolution of a human being. And assuming that you’re growing, right? or otherwise you’re stuck. Um what what what were you like growing up and what was it like to you’re someone that we all crave human connection, right? We all crave it. I’m naturally more introverted. So I crave human connection, but rarely ever in a
00:11:23 – 00:12:20
group setting, like a large group setting, though I like I don’t like parties or large parties. I love one-on-one conversations, which is why I’m able to do this. Um, I but I don’t like going to like like the death of me. I’m so sorry, but like I don’t like going to like a chamber of commerce meeting or like a networking or like a mixer or one of these type of things. Like I would I’d rather have you like pull my toenails off. Sure. Like it’s like I that would be probably
00:11:51 – 00:12:45
less painful than me sitting there and like um pretending cuz naturally galvanizing with people that I’m not like I just it’s very challenging for me, right? Um but yeah I we all crave human connection. How do you out like how do you outgrow the Corey that was and tell me like what when obviously you you craved human connection growing up? Um what was that like for you? Your experience growing up and how did you create that for yourself? Because I know there’s a lot of people that are like
00:12:18 – 00:13:18
you like me where we grow up like I was shy. I was incredibly shy. Um my parents are immigrants, right? So just like there’s culturally we’re quiet I’m quiet but what was it like for you growing up? My initial instinct was to tell jokes so that way you didn’t know the pain that was inside cuz right comedy is tragedy plus time. Comedy’s tragedy plus time, right? So you’re you’re sitting on that and now I can like look back and go nothing can hurt me. But back then I was absolutely
00:12:48 – 00:13:41
fragile. Absolutely fragile. So I was one of two things. One, I was just over the top loud. Haha, life is good. I’m now the fat kid cuz they gave me medication, try to fix my problems. It didn’t do anything but just make me hate myself more. So, haha, life is good. Yeah, call me call me double, triple C, whatever. You know what I mean? Like, just because you you got to make fun of yourself. Or when I first got to meet people, I was more like you growing up. I was super shy cuz I was sussing out the
00:13:14 – 00:14:09
situation. Are you going to hurt me? Are you going to what? There was no middle ground. I couldn’t just have this right and here because it was one of two things, right? There’s that TED talk about the three circles. I could never be the middle, right? I was either super shy. who are you or what up? What up guys? How like because you can’t see me. I’m not going to share this with you. That was my protective measure. And over time it sucked because I was always by myself. Every kid in school knew me, but
00:13:42 – 00:14:29
I didn’t fit into a single group. I didn’t have the friend group. I didn’t have any of that because I was still searching and I was like a hurt kid. And and kids who are behaviorally challenged and dealing with all that, they generally can’t fit into groups and they’re generally causing more problems. And that’s my 30 suspensions and and my good friends, the ones I talked to today, they’re not my high school friends, they’re my special ed principal, you know, I mean, I have her
00:14:06 – 00:15:14
on speed dial. So, when I went back and spoke and did my keynote uh last month, that’s who I hung out with. You know, my Spanish teacher who let me come to her class at lunch and feel heard and seen and like I had a friend. So, over time, you see these things and you start working on yourself. And I honestly think a lot of my comfortability with myself came from a lot of the deep deep work of EMDR therapy, um, you know, talk therapy, just doing everything I can to try to get rid of all that pain that was been
00:14:40 – 00:15:32
inside because much like working out, if you got a knot, you got to dig it out. And that’s what we don’t talk about, I think, in the mental health of everything. You know, psychology, you can’t diagnose what causes depression. It’s not like you tore an ACL and they go, “Oh, that’s how we need to fix it.” It’s not that simple. So, for me, it just has been a constant effort. And that’s why I love talking with you and even the walk that we had. I think mental health should be more
00:15:06 – 00:15:59
like physical health. If I’m going to go to the gym and I want my body to look a certain way, I got to put that time in every day. Same thing with the mental health. And so, that’s been a big key component for me is that daily writing, right? the daily um morning pages and just I write down uh three micro wins from yesterday, three things I love about my life and just try to like reframe that for me because at the end of the day, that’s really been the biggest breakthrough for me is nobody’s
00:15:33 – 00:16:29
coming. Nobody’s coming. It’s just got to be me. It’s just got to be me. And hopefully one day when I can get comfortable with myself, then hopefully one day I’m finally ready to have a partner, have kids, you know what I mean? and like do those things that I guess I had been kind of almost in this childlike state of just running because that’s all my life. If we go back to my adolescence, you’re asking why I was cuz I was I was deathly afraid. I was deathly sad. I was deathly just in
00:16:00 – 00:16:55
immeasurable pain. And it comes to a point where do you want to sit in the pain or do you want to set a goal and go for it? And my goal is I want stability. I want stability so bad. And so if you were to ask me now as an adult, if I didn’t have all that stuff happen to me as a kid, I probably wouldn’t be in entertainment because why did I have all that? It was external validation. The haha jokes was, “Please tell me you like me. Please tell me, please tell me I’m accepted.” And now I don’t have that.
00:16:28 – 00:17:19
Now it’s me trying to say, I want to look in the mirror every day and go, I see you. And that’s how I get to talk to myself cuz I didn’t have a dad. Dad died when I was sick. So that was my this is my chance every single day to be like, “Hey, have a good day. I love you.” Every morning starts with today’s going to be a great day. Period. I write that and that’s what I have to keep going with me. And it’s tough. It’s hard. Like we talked about this tribal. Like I so badly wanted that. I so badly
00:16:54 – 00:17:54
wish I could call a dad today and be like, “How do you approach life?” Or, “Can I please be part of a fantasy football league?” Anybody? You mean like I just You want to feel that connection. And so I’m trying to start with giving it to myself and I’m really trying to get to my intuitive nature of what makes me happy so that way I can take steps to find more of that stability which is what I didn’t have as a kid. So very long-winded answer just to say I’m working on it still to this day. I’m no
00:17:23 – 00:18:21
I’m no success story but I really do hope to keep putting out the good energy. I didn’t I didn’t expect this conversation going this way. Um, something that you said really kind of stuck with me there and what I sense was there’s a layer of personal responsibility that you have where you said I’m trying to become someone that it’s like basically I can get married, date or be in a serious relationship and then eventually get married and have have a family and all that. And it seems
00:17:53 – 00:18:50
like you’re like trying to work. It’s like there’s like a there’s a sense of like I’m a work in progress and there’s a there’s a sense of also arriving and the arrival arriving point being at this point I can I can be married or start that like what does that what does that look like for you? How how I arrived there? Yeah. How what is like what are you defining that cuz and just to paint you a picture of context um cuz this is really cand I didn’t know we talking about this at all but like I
00:18:21 – 00:19:32
got I’ve been off the market since I was 17. Good for you right for you. It’s a str it’s a strange flex but but but not not because like but it’s because simply because I I was literally started dating my wife when we were honestly children right um we both have very interesting backgrounds both both strong trauma backgrounds that were both still in our late 30s working through um and know a lot of your story I relate to a ton just tons of things resonate and but when I look at the the and the
00:18:57 – 00:19:55
reason why I’m asking you this. I’m genuinely curious. Yeah. Is there was never a for me I guess I I always had a fear and especially when she went to college of like oh she’s probably going to dump me cuz she’s going to find someone that’s better looking in better shape, smarter, you know, all these reasons, right? Not possible. Not possible. Um, but as as I as we’re as I’m going through that with her, um, there’s that sense of I’m uh like early in my relationship, there
00:19:24 – 00:20:47
was a lot of I’m playing not to lose versus playing to win, if that makes sense. And now when I look at it, I realize my wife has actively formed me by being my wife into who I am today. Yeah. And so then so she had she had a stake and process in making me a better husband for her and me unknowingly be making her a better wife for me. Does that make sense? It does. So that’s I’m genuinely curious. So what what for me it was I stopped running. I truly stopped running this year and I honestly
00:20:07 – 00:21:01
think it’s probably happened this year. Um physically? Uh phys no physically, emotionally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I’ll never run unless it’s on a basketball court. Are you chasing me, man? I’m not trying to run. Like I love what you guys do with CrossFit, but I’m not I’m not doing No, I’m not doing it. I’m not You’re not making me run. I just I can’t. I’m too tall. I just can’t. That’s just That’s just me. What makes you good at running? Well, we’re going to agree to disagree.
00:20:34 – 00:21:24
Um no, I I just stopped running. Like I think I lived in this kind of like childhood mind of like I basically made a cocoon around me from a very early age and it and I just carried that through. You know what I mean? Life’s going to be okay. Everybody like I think it took ownership like really stepping into adulthood. I was able about a year and a half ago to finally get my mom to move back to Nebraska so that way she could focus on her cuz I really did kind of take care of her. And through that and
00:20:59 – 00:22:01
being in this journey of being by myself, like I am able to kind of look in the mirror and just go, there are so many things that I needed to step up for. Um, like I said, I really attacked generational trauma. It started almost a year ago, right? Last Halloween, I started EMDR and it just profoundly impacted me cuz I didn’t know the very first session of EMDR, my therapist said, you know, your childhood was PTSD. And I was like, who’s what? How’s that? You know me like my she’s like let me
00:21:30 – 00:22:21
break it down. I was like what? So I think you lied to yourself. I think you genuinely lie to yourself this year. In all honesty it feels like I kind of woke up from Scientology or something crazy where you just like oh my gosh. Like you had just been telling yourself this fabrication. And so for me, yeah, I think in my head I’d always wanted to be a dad. Like I’ve always had this paternal instinct. I really didn’t drink as a kid. Um there were certain things that I do because inevitably I want to
00:21:56 – 00:22:53
be there. And one of the things my therapist said is she was like, “You didn’t have kids because you were protecting them.” She’s like, “You in all your relationships were kind of one foot in, one foot out because like you didn’t want to pass along the generational trauma.” And I was just like like what? How are we? So for me, it’s really just been the idea of like I have to stop. I have to be content with me. And through that, it really is helped solidify me really intuitively
00:22:24 – 00:23:12
going what’s important to me. Is it is it going to go out every single night and try to do standup comedy and be on the road and do that? Does that give me fulfillment? No. I’ve done that. What’s fulfillment for me now? It’s like, oh, no, no, no. I look at my my cousins. I have two cousins. They’re like my siblings. They each have three kids, and I love my nieces and nephews. I call them my nieces and nephews. So, there’s six of them, three a pop. And it’s such a beautiful thing. Like,
00:22:48 – 00:23:47
I’m going home to be with them for Halloween. I’ll go and see them in a few weeks just to continue to check in on them. And so I think from my position of finally getting still with myself, the answers become clear and then it’s taking action steps. So honestly, I’ve been running. Honestly, I’ve been running just thinking, “Oh yeah, so like my mom again, love her, but she grew she she raised me on Hallmark movies and the fairy tale like some the love of your life’s going to fall out of a tree.
00:23:18 – 00:24:10
She’s going to land on your back. You’re going to just take a piggyback ride to the courthouse. You’re going to get married. kids are going to pop out the moment you get home. You’re going to have a white pick a fence and like that’s not life. That’s not life. You got to work for it. And I truly truly believe that the only way a relationship works is if two whole people come together and choose each other every single day. That’s how a relationship works. And I have been codependent a lot in my life
00:23:43 – 00:24:40
because I didn’t have that for me. And I gave it to relationships. I I was kind of weaned on it to my mom as a kid. And I no longer want that. I want to be a strong husband. I want to be a strong provider. I want to be a strong father. And that comes from being here first. And that was the goal and the reason to why I finally feel ready. And believe you me, we talked about this. Like dating this year has sucked because there’ve been a few times where I got destroyed. There’s been a few times
00:24:13 – 00:25:12
where I was like, I need to continue to work on myself and I can’t date right now because I’m still not whole and I’m still not healthy. So, longwinded again, but we’re getting deep, so I don’t care. Yeah. Um, I feel like this we’re talking a lot about connections. Tell me about your friendships. Like what like like being doing what you do, you I I bet you know a lot of people. Yeah. You meet a lot of people. Yeah. Um, how do you describe relationships and friendships for
00:24:42 – 00:25:41
yourself? Yeah, they are everything to me. Friendships are everything to me. I have a notes app on my phone that just wrote that I just wrote friends I love and I broke it all down into my different groups into who they are because I want to check in on them. Um, I think growing up without my dad and like that side of the family’s 3 hours away from where I grew up, so I didn’t necessarily have them always in my back pocket. I didn’t really get to talk to them. That’s like half of your
00:25:11 – 00:26:12
support system gone. And so reconnecting with them and not feeling inferior, not feeling like, oh, I’m just a nuisance. I’m out of like I’m just going to I’ve had to get over that. And so I’ll continue to reach out to friends. But there are some that I like I talk to every single day. I have to like they’re they are they encourage me. They make me feel good. And it’s that energy, right? When you walk into uh to to here, it’s like you feel the good energy, right? Like you feel the good energy. And
00:25:41 – 00:26:35
that’s what you do with friends. And so I’ve been more comfortable this year. Again, name it to tame it. Reach out. There was a day last week I was like, I’m not doing well. I don’t want to be by myself. like, can I just come over and I literally just sit sit and I’m going just read my my homework and can I just can I just do that? And and so I think being comfortable with speaking what’s on your mind, but then also knowing too, one of the big things I learned this year with friendships and
00:26:09 – 00:27:10
just like relationships, boundaries, they go both ways. I don’t need to overshare too much with you for my direction cuz somebody has to earn that. And then also, are you meeting me? If I’m checking with you, checking in with you all the time, but you’re not checking in with me and you’re not meeting me, then that’s not that’s not equal, and I don’t need to put as much into it. So, um, good. I I genuinely have learned a ton this year. I mean, and, you know, it’s tough. It’s tough, but the only way
00:26:39 – 00:27:29
you learn is by failing. So, for me, I really do lean on my friends. Um, I really tried to be present when I’m with them. So, put the phone away. I hung out with a friend a few nights ago and just went on a walk and it’s like I kind of left my phone because you really do get a lot of them. You and I are different. I’m an extrovert cuz it was just me growing up. So, it’s like I want to talk to anybody and just have that connection because it fuels my batteries. Like it really really does. And at one point
00:27:04 – 00:27:54
there was only two nephews um from my cousin Cara. And I would go home and one’s an extrovert but the youngest is an introvert. And I was like, “Does he need to talk to people?” She’s like, “No, no, he’s charging his batteries.” I was like, how like I didn’t learn like so I’ve been kind of isolated. So that’s what’s been so beautiful about connection is learning how other people receive things, send things, and then connect. So friends are important to me. You get to
00:27:29 – 00:28:36
you get to feel and and the true friends, they’re the ones who call you on your stuff. They’re the ones who say you need to you need to own up or they can say, “Yo, like that’s what I want.” 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I would love to hear kind of this kind of two-part gateway question here and you led right you led me right into it. First one, just in in your in your view, um, top three ways to be a better friend. Top three ways to be a better friend. I would say one, being present. I I think I we just
00:28:05 – 00:29:06
talked about that is like on on those on those moments where you get to see somebody having that connection. Um I think being present is putting the phone away just being there with that person because then you get to to see that you know get to see the person. I think the other uh the second thing is boundaries. I just talked about it again but like I’ll give an example with my friend. It’s not a bad thing, but um we had we had we had a there tough conversations can be had between friends. Like I had to on my my European
00:28:35 – 00:29:30
trip like I love I love my friend traveling the world with him but I had to say bro I got to go get my own room because the storing is too much. I know that sounds crazy but like that’s a hard thing to go to somebody. It’s not a fault on another person. So, the reason why I bring up boundaries is because it’s being malleable, letting the ego go by the wayside and being able to hear it and then say it because that’s tough. That’s tough. Yeah. Um, this is this is really hitting for me.
00:29:03 – 00:30:06
Not so much from the friend angle, but in my when you said about the snoring, I was like, you know what really resonates is I snore like a bear, bro. Mouth tape, bro. Keep going. I got stories on the mouth tape. I have been I’ve been gifted many packs of mouth. Every time I do the first attempt, zero sleep. But I heard you’re supposed to get past like a week of it. And I’m like, by this by like day three, I feel like I’m being tortured by the C uh by the U CIA, bro. Like it’s like
00:29:34 – 00:30:35
Yeah. And and and and sleep deprivation is a tactic used in military warfare. I’m like, I can’t do it. But it makes me think of like my wife. So like it’s ve we we very ever rarely start in bed together because she’s like you’re going to snore so let me get some rest on the sofa and then or or vice versa and then like I’ll I’ll join you later. And then me being a super needy uh trauma person is like man we’re not going to go to bed together. You don’t love me. Like man is our
00:30:04 – 00:30:42
marriage going to last. I bro I spiral bro. Right. And it’s it’s an active thing we’re legitimately working through right now. Right. and we’ve like tried to negotiate down to, you know, we moved to a new house and um we have an extra guest bedroom where it’s like, “Hey, can we agree that like maybe four nights out of the week I’ll just sleep separately in like in a different bed and you can cuz I don’t want her sleeping on the sofa, you know, it’s like not good for
00:30:24 – 00:31:13
your body.” No. Right. And uh uh and then like uh the other nights but like it’s going to be rough but maybe the minority of the week three days out of the seven can we just like try starting in bed and like you know it’s like kind of sacrif or like can we start in bed I’ll just make sure you fall asleep first you know what I mean which it’s tough cuz we have three young children so but it made me think of that when you were sharing the whole like the boundaries thing which like you
00:30:48 – 00:31:40
know what like because that’s you’re just doing that with a friend I have a wife right and it’s like I want to love her and respect what she needs too. But I’m also like, you know, you hear all the things like, oh, like you you shouldn’t be sleeping separately, all that, like all the rules around that, right? Societal, whatever the societal rules around that. And I’m like, that’s tough, right? Cuz I I do want that. But actually, because I genuinely just want to be next to my wife in bed. Like I,
00:31:14 – 00:31:55
you know, it’s like I’m a I’m a cuddly person. Yeah. Yeah. It’s my person. Yeah, that’s your person. So that’s interesting that I didn’t think I get that take away from just now. Yeah. I I it’s it’s a very simple thing, but I think all too often again with the boundaries, sometimes we don’t feel like specifically with people pleasers. I’m not a people pleaser cuz I’m direct as they come, but like the people pleasers out there know that like sometimes
00:31:35 – 00:32:20
there’s something on their mind, but they’re like, I don’t feel like I can say something. So sometimes with my friends, like knowing a specific thing about them and calling on it. Like if I have a friend who I know is a people pleaser, I’m like, “Are you taking care of you?” I love that airplane metaphor, gas mask, right? are you taking care of you first before you go and take care of anybody else cuz you’re going to be no good. So I always try to make sure that that’s
00:31:57 – 00:32:53
that’s an important thing. The communication is there and then like the third for me would just be having that time like I have a a a specific time to check in with them meaning that’s why I have that list on my phone. The people who mean a lot to me are on that notes app and I’ll go and I’ll be like I haven’t talked with them in a minute. So like once a week I have it on my phone, check in. Check in for the ones who I haven’t because you get something from everybody. You get
00:32:24 – 00:33:20
something different and the ones who really matter, they matter. They’re going to be there. Like we all have those friends. You haven’t talked to them in 6 months, a year, pick up like no time’s passed. That’s beautiful. Yeah. But if they mean something to you, maybe you need to to reach out. And I think all too often we get caught up in the the same grind of life that you have to change those things to appreciate them. And it’s really important. I want to continue to get better every single day.
00:32:52 – 00:33:51
And I want my friends to be able to hit me up and say what it and you also want to be wanted, you know. So I want to make sure I reach out and still be be thought of. It’s good. I mean, connection is such a huge part of living a happy, healthy life, right? for those that maybe feel like they’re lacking it. Um and obviously you go through seasons, you feel like you’re lacking it, you know, you’re lacking it because, you know, um our uh Bethy’s husband didn’t reach out to you and he you know,
00:33:22 – 00:34:33
he doesn’t even know that you wanted to be invited, you know, and uh you would be in this football league if if he had known, you know, but um yeah, exactly. Yeah. How do we you know h how would you say in your words you know giving yourself advice who you are today how do we how do we create how do we number one seek out and then create healthy human connections I think you have to do it for you what I mean by that is if there’s a group that you want to be part of say pickle ball and you’re like yo I’m I’m I’m
00:33:57 – 00:34:51
interested in that go give yourself a time limit a month. I’m going to go there three times a week. Do I enjoy it? Check in with yourself. Am I connecting with people? And then again, with that connection, go out of your way. If you’re going there, introduce yourself to like three people. Hey, and inevitably you’re going to do that. If it’s like a round robin type pickle ball situation, they have like open play where you can go and do that. And from there, that’s connection. I
00:34:22 – 00:35:24
love it. Um, uh, I I think you have to, you know, go go to an area, take a class, make connection. Um, or maybe even volunteering, you know, like if if there’s a sport that you like, like can you go and, you know, help coach? Can you um can can you do you love cats and you want to go work at the the vet? Like it’s it’s and it’s where you feel the best. I think that’s important. you know, can you learn something from somebody or again like, you know, is there is there for for us like, you
00:34:55 – 00:35:42
know, is there a men’s group? Is there a men’s group I can go look up? I think that’s really what it is because I I want to make connections with people for sure. And when I go and speak, when I go do things like that’s beautiful. If I want you, if I want to be connected to you daily or moving forward, we got to have some connection. If we’re not talking about if if we’re talking about, you know, something other than sports, like I don’t know what we’re talking about. You know what I mean? It’s it’s
00:35:19 – 00:36:17
we got to there has to be some base level. So seek it. Seek it. Make yourself do something uncomfortable. And that’s really a lot of these gurus, all these guys on this do the uncomfortable. That’s really what it is. I If you were to tell me, we talked about this on the walk. If you were to tell me how hard EMDR was going to be this year, how hard it was to make you question life, I wouldn’t have done it. Yeah. I would not have done it. This that was immeasurably difficult. It’s
00:35:48 – 00:36:37
still difficult. Now I’m trying to get on the other end of it and it’s fin like I’m starting to see the light. But you got to do it for you. How bad do you want it? There’s so many adults that are still walking around in kid mindsets. How bad do you want to fix it? And how bad do you want the connection or do you want to sit in it? Cuz at the end of the day, you’re in control of you. Do you want to complain about it or do you want to conquer it and take action? It’s good. I I was just at a lunch
00:36:12 – 00:37:22
meeting where um the person shared with me the idea that if we if we were had a full picture of of how of of where we would be 5, 10, 15, maybe 30 years from now, uh where we would end up and we could feel the full picture and see it completely, but also see in transparency all the pain it would take to get there, we would probably all never start, Right. And I was thinking about that. This is kind of like what you just said right now with the with the EMGR and just I a really tangible example is um
00:36:48 – 00:37:42
obviously we’re this is the Happy Healthy Triple H podcast, but we’re sitting inside the brick and mortar Reason Fitness right now um which is a small boutique fitness gym in Arcadia, California. And this gym has been around for 13 years now. But if you had told the 25-year-old version of me or the 23-year-old version of me two years prior to me signing that lease what what the next 10 years would look like and how hard it would be. I I don’t think you and I would be here talking today.
00:37:15 – 00:38:07
Mhm. Right. I would ab I would I would say actually that’s not what I would want. I would like when people ask like oh would you like if you could go back would you do it all again? Like it’s like crazy. Like it’s like such a I feel embarrassed to say because but but it’s because I’m self-aware enough to know my tolerance and and I’m I I don’t think I’m strong enough if I had known to be like, “Yeah, you know what? I would choose that again.” Sure. If I if I genuinely had knowledge of it,
00:37:40 – 00:38:36
the the the pain that it would cause my family. Um the fights I would have my with my wife about being gone from 5:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. Uh not just for a week, for a few days at a time, a few months at a time, but for years at a time, right? and the growing dissension in that relationship, which we’re not which is not the case now, right? And if you if you could if you can lay that all out before me today, uh uh 15 years ago, I’d be like, “Yeah, I’ll go get a I’ll like I’ll get a day job.” You know what
00:38:09 – 00:39:17
I mean? Yeah. So, it’s almost kind of good that we we can’t see the cost up front. Yeah. Chop wood, carry water, right? Just every single day you got to step up and you kind of have to go through it. Yeah. And I think inevitably the people who quote unquote successful are the ones who do it anyhow, right? And the ones who they want to get better. And so inevitably, even though you know that it’s going to be painful, you still have to go. And honestly, you would never know what it was like to have Reason Fitness if you
00:38:42 – 00:39:37
didn’t go through the last 13 years, right? And same thing with me of that journey of mental health this year. But it’s like you stepped up, you got punched in the face over and over every single day. Still getting punched in the face. Yeah. You know, but in the end, hopefully that’s worth it. And in the end, as long as it continues to ring true for you, you know, cuz if not, you can pivot. I’m kind of in that position, you know, right now in terms of the entertainment industry. Entertainment industry is in
00:39:09 – 00:40:05
the trash can. Trash can. It is. It is like AI with everything like all the jobs, like the strikes, everything. So it’s like, do I still need that external validation? No, I want to find it for me. So what is that next what is that next step? I can still affect lives and maybe that’s where I’m going towards. But it’s it’s continuing to check in with you because at the end of the day, all the answers come from within. Well, that’s good. Um, we talked we talked mostly on on the pillar of
00:39:38 – 00:40:38
connection today or the factor of connection. What is how does a guy that is as high energy and extroverted as you, how do you rest? How do you rest and recover? Such a good question. I’m not kidding you. I slept 9 and 1 half hours yesterday. I was like, I need this. And my new thing is I do not have my phone at bedtime. So, I’m one of those people that just goes non-stop. The moment I wake up, it’s like go go go. There’s never really any chill. So, for me now, it’s at bedtime. So, I’ll
00:40:08 – 00:41:10
put the phone away and it’s just me sitting with my thoughts at night time kind of having that time because um I think I sleep better, sleep so much better. So, my rest just comes down to to making sure that I can fully recover and that’s I know I generally sleep about 8 hours, but if I don’t have an alarm, if I don’t have anything else in the bedroom, then I’m solid. So, having that time to just fully relax is crucial for me. And I feel it. I’m a I’m a dick. I’m a dick if
00:40:39 – 00:41:30
I don’t sleep enough. I just I I don’t have the the happy energy. I just don’t. So, having those moments and like really just squeezing those toxins out cuz people, you know, the brains, man, they squeeze and get the toxins out when you get that deep deep sleep. So, that’s important for me now. And then also kind of use my words, too. Like sometimes if a friend wants to hang and I’ve made plans with them, as much as I love them, I got to put me first. And that’s really again that airplane metaphor of like I
00:41:05 – 00:41:58
just need to go and rest. I’m sorry. I got a cancer. Schedule it again. Be there for my friends. Like one of my friends recently just um uh finished his cancer treatments and he wants to go celebrate. I’m down. We’re going to do it. I just got to find that time. So it’s just making sure that the rest comes first. I don’t think there’s anything more important with yourself than than sleep and and rest. So, that’s kind of where I’m at right now in my life is making sure there’s no
00:41:31 – 00:42:35
distractions at night time and I get that full eight hours. That’s good. Any any other tips and tricks in terms of sleep? Rest and recovery. Rest and recovery. I listen to your body. Listen to your body. You know, some days you’re in there and it’s just not working. Okay. I feel like that’s that’s such a common piece of advice. Like I I agree. I’ve said it. And then there’s like saying it and knowing that and then like living it out in practice. Um what do you do to be able to listen to your body
00:42:04 – 00:42:55
tangibly? Honestly, it’s that it’s that morning morning meditation for me. It’s that morning journaling because then I get to really just talk to myself before anything else is awake. It’s the very first thing. And and in a weird way, it’s like it’s almost as if wise mind you, the way I write, wise mind is talking to younger Corey, the young fat kid, just wanting acceptance, wanting people to love him. You know what I mean? It’s just like, hey, you okay today? What are we doing? And so if I’m
00:42:29 – 00:43:20
having a day where I’m not doing well, then I need to go cool. What can I do that’s going to make me happy? If I’m emotionally down or physically, okay, cool. Then maybe like last Saturday for instance, I went and helped like coach a basketball game in the morning and then I went to the gym and I was dog tired and I was like cool we’re just going to make an agreement 30 minutes hit as hard as you can legs be out. So at least I had that parameters. So I guess it’s just making um
00:42:55 – 00:43:39
that’s like your minimum effective task. Making that positive dosage. Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do. But it really is just just knowing who you are and like again I think it all comes back to your goals. What’s important? my therapist last week, she was like, “I’m going to need you to do yoga.” And I was like, “I got to go talk to her later today.” She’s like, she’s going to go, “Did you do yoga?” And I go, “Next week.” So, I got to I got to figure that
00:43:16 – 00:44:06
out. But it’s really just aligned with what your goals are. Do you want to do you want to go hit a wad? Do you want to go to the next CrossFit games? Then you know what you got to do. And that comes with the sleep because we can schedule it. You know how easy it is to go to bed and just with a Netflix and then fall asleep with the phone still going? That’s easy. The hard part is putting the phone away and being with your dang self. I hate it, but it’s making me better. It’s making
00:43:42 – 00:44:55
me better. It’s one, it’s helping me be comfortable with myself, and two, it’s helping me get better quality sleep. If you don’t have those phones messing with your brain before bed, you’re going to get more quality deep sleep. It’s good. Um, as we kind of wrap up, we asked we asked everybody this question, but um, in in your words, what makes a uh, happy, healthy human? My idea of a happy, healthy human is someone who shows up for themselves daily first and foremost and then tries
00:44:21 – 00:45:12
to pay it forward to whoever they encounter on a daily basis. I think that’s as simple as I would describe it because you got to show up for you and if you’re the happiest version of yourself, you can pay that forward to others, you know, and and by doing that some days you’re not going to have it. So, you got to fake it to make it. I’m sure there’s some days you come in here and you’re like, I don’t, you know, it’s just it’s just a tough day for whatever reason you’re tired. You got to show up.
00:44:47 – 00:45:50
And knowing that people rely on you, that’s huge. So, showing up for you and then showing up for others. That’s good. Yeah. For me, Yeah. I think for me it’s on those days it’s reminding myself that I’m on a mission, right? It’s like this is the mission that I’ve I’ve been given or prescribed to. And I mean most I I it’s crazy to sound, but I rarely ever have days where I’m like this is a very bad day. Like I I mostly have good days, but I think but it helps that I’m just
00:45:19 – 00:46:14
around the right people all the time, right? On a daily basis, right? I’ve never had a so this is this is going to sound kind of crazy but I’ve never had like a a workplace environment for at least for the last 10 years where actually I’m like got to see that guy right but um that changes your quality of life a lot you know so um gratitude any any it sounds like that that’s a mantra that you can live is there any other mantras that you live by I love John Wooden’s make you say your
00:45:46 – 00:46:47
masterpiece basketball was huge for me growing up like that was my escape and So, I just love the idea that stack each day, make each day your masterpiece. How can you do that? You know, like, you know, he has his nine promises to happiness. Like, I just I really do feel as though, you know, take it one day at a time. And some days some days suck. Go to bed, man. Tomorrow’s a new day. Right on, man. Yeah. Well, thank you for uh joining us, man. This is really insightful. I I’m almost certain there’s going to be a part two
00:46:17 – 00:46:45
uh where we talk about a lot of different stuff, but uh where can people get in touch with you? Yeah. Uh Cool Beans Comedy on all the socials and then I’m Corey Martin Craig. So yeah, hit me up, whatever. coming. Thank you so much.